Thursday, February 10, 2005
"The Gang That Won't Shoot Straight"
It began when ol' Dubya gave Al Gore the boot,
Those gun-hating Dems really started to shoot.
Their weapons of choice though leave much to desire
For they're usually off-target and so often misfire.
In his blustering barrages, as everyone knows,
Al Gore is most likely to blow off his own nose.
And in hitting his targets, Teddy's chances are slimmer
He's no better at bombast than he was as a swimmer.
John Kerry took aim at Bush's war in Iraq
But salvos from Swiftees left him smoking black.
Daschle went to Dakota with all barrels loaded;
When the smoke finally cleared, he had clearly imploded.
They were gunning for George, but without enough practice
And ended up full of holes, their butts full of cactus.
That dimwitted cowboy turned out muy mal
Blew the Libs clean away at their O.K. Corral
Howard Dean, more than most, embodies the phrase,
"Shoot yourself in the foot," yet may see better days.
If DNC chiefs decide the Party needs Deaning,
Shooting yourself in the foot will have Party-wide meaning.
Senator Boxer shot holes in her own reputation,
Taking potshots at Condi before the whole nation.
We can't wait for the chance to see Nancy Pelosi,
Take aim at ol' George: "BAM!" there goes her toesy.
We'll not tolerate lying, fumes Senator Dayton,
A lightweight compared to the lady he's baitin'.
But he shoots from the lip and quite clearly he misses,
While eighty-five colleagues hand out Condi kisses.
This "Gang that won't shoot straight," is really no puzzle,
Did you ever see a Lib knew his butt from his muzzle?
Have you fathomed the lesson that runs through this poem?
All guns should have locks if there are Libs in the home.
Hope you enjoyed the poem and I will see you all tomorrow.
Here's a poem composed entirely from actual quotes by George W. Bush:
Make the Pie Higher
I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen
And potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish
Families is where our nation finds hope
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!